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Funny chats from customer service

I run this website focusing primarily on real estate, architecture and databases, in average per day 20 people contact me via chat for consultation, purchase of my works, professional consultation and other services.

But sometimes I get funny messages, bad customers who do not want to pay my services, waste my time or even insult me when I am helping them, odd requests that have nothing to do with the services I offer, or simply children who like trolling on customer service line, disturbing me from serving real customers. I made this section to publish the FUNNIEST chats.

Published chats are an exception rather than a rule, the reason of publishing is reading amusement, NOT to defame the person who contacted me. What I posted here are less than 1% of total people who contacted me. Personal details (people names, email addresses, IP addresses, etc) are hidden, only country is visible. Read more: privacy policy.

Also please DO NOT contact me and talk funny then request publication of your conversation in Funny Chats section, hoping “to contribute” to my website. I created this website as portfolio of my works and promote my services, NOT to generate and publish as many funny chats is possible. The Funny Chats section contain chats that happened accidentally during doing my customer service job.

Spammer paid $500 per month to SPAM backlinks on my website?

All blogs are target of SPAM bots posting comments automatically, sometimes humans also post comments, and one of them sent a message via chat and this started a conversation that showed me that he is being paid $500/month to post SPAM comments. A waste of effort for him and waste of money for his client, because comments linking to penis enlargement products are being deleted by site owners, and even if are not deleted, links in comments are NOFOLLOW and client won’t get any higher rank in Google.

Why someone would want to emigrate to North Korea?

(5:49:53 PM) Visitor: I would rather live in a country which is clean, untouched and with proper rules(not with the “stupid law”). Where people are more kind and don’t kill for money or do the crime because of money. This developed World just became a chaos. People are lying, stealing, killing only to make a benefit. Many just trying to work to survive. The gap between rich and poor is unbelievable and it is getting worse. 1% has the money of 99%

Bad customer from Canada (2018-12-24)

We chatted for 45 minutes, he asked me to make drawings and said that “for preliminary drawings we do not pay“, he even refused to give an email address, how we can take in serious such customers IDIOTS? Thanks to these idiots I am no longer interested in offering architectural design services or answering people contacting me on architecture subject.

Bad students from UK (2018-10-16)

Bad students from UK asked me for sample car database with a model from Volkswagen and another sample from Mini, promising to purchase complete database of these 2 makes via PayPal, but they ran away, later they came back saying that the one-model sample was enough, that they are also businessmen but can pay only cash in post (I don’t believe / accept that) = they only WASTED MY TIME!

Funny customer (2018-10-02)

Then he said that is looking for an architect in Scotland… I could help him even without being in Scotland, he did not provided project details, he mentioned about his past experiences with architects that ran away after he paid them without providing drawings, I mentioned about my past experiences with customers running away after I made drawings (to show him that I CAN make drawings without advance payment), then he said that I am not willing to cooperate and that I am firing accusations against him… I don’t understand this attitude.

Idiot Singaporean (2018-09-30)

I wonder what is his age and IQ… given by the STUPID remarks he make. He wasted my time asking a question that nobody can answer, accused me for having a “sad bad job” and “no friends” just because I run this website alone, then said that “a terrorist made my projects” just because I work with a programmer from Pakistan.

Indian put me in confusion!

Someone saying “do you have updated india mobile database” gave me impression of a customer who purchased database and require an update. I realized that he is not an existing customer and do not want a database of mobile phone DEVICES, but rather a database of mobile phone NUMBERS which I have no idea how to get them and beside this is personal information illegal to distribute. There was a message at top of page that I am NOT selling any database of phone numbers, but many Indians are idiots and start chatting without reading.

What is wrong at this chat? (2018-09-08)

I wonder if he came to purchase my products or just to test customer support response times. I answered his questions and he said “thanks for your help” then “are you sleepy?” and “there is no response” and rated chat BAD for “not responding in time” despite that did not asked any more questions that required my response.

Toss Smithe & his friends – $10,000 architectural design which turned to be a fucking PRANK

Hello Mr. Teoalida. My name is Toss Smithe, and I am interested in contracting you for paying job. You will have approximately three months to complete it, and if the finished product is as expected, we are willing to pay around $10,000. I would like a custom designed 3D model floor plan, preferably done in AutoCAD… He even created an email address purposely for this joke: [email protected] and signature “Private Contractor” gave me impression of a legitimate customer.

Bad customer from Afghanistan (2018-06-03)

Despite that I wrote on website that I am NO LONGER offering architectural services (due to many customers paying too little or not paying at all), someone from Australia but claimed to be from Afghanistan, insisting me to do an architectural project for… ONLY 14 dollars! I tried to explain that architects fees start from 100 dollars… He is not even answering my questions but keep wasting my time, and did this repeatedly for 3 days!

Bad customer from India (2018-02-15)

Another HERO from India show us why we should be careful when dealing with Indian customers, or better NOT even reply chats and entertain Indian customers.

As a honest data provider I created the custom package as he requested, set price 30 USD, but the Indian reply with a disrespectful language, calling me cheater, offered to pay 10 rupees (0.15 USD), then agreed with $25 but kept wasting my time asking repeated discounts $20 then $15 probably hoping that will get my work for FREE!

What service are you interested in?

In November 2017 I had a large number of visitors on Life Story page. This do not happen naturally. Most likely someone has presented my website to his friends, having mysterious interest in my personal life for unknown scope. I received a comment, followed by 2 chats, all 3 mysterious people asking SIMILAR questions. 2 days later, a 4th person started a chat asking a series of questions about my services but without saying what service he actually want from me.

How spammers are getting email databases

Initially I thought that he wants to buy car models database I am selling, then realized that he is actually looking for car customers email database, he told me how he built his own email database by paying other websites to add a cookie that sends him the info users enter when they register, using a pop-up that you should click “I accept cookies”. For me it looks DIRTY way to collect email addresses, because they will get spammed by emails they did not subscribed for! What is your opinion?