Funny chats from customer service

I run this website focusing primarily on real estate, architecture and databases, in average per day 20 people contact me via chat for consultation, purchase of my works, professional consultation and other services.

But sometimes I get funny messages, bad customers who do not want to pay my services, waste my time or even insult me when I am helping them, odd requests that have nothing to do with the services I offer, or simply children who like trolling on customer service line, disturbing me from serving real customers. I made this section to publish the FUNNIEST chats.

Published chats are an exception rather than a rule, the reason of publishing is reading amusement, NOT to defame the person who contacted me. What I posted here are less than 1% of total people who contacted me. Personal details (people names, email addresses, IP addresses, etc) are hidden, only country is visible. Read more: privacy policy.

Also please DO NOT contact me and talk funny then request publication of your conversation in Funny Chats section, hoping “to contribute” to my website. I created this website as portfolio of my works and promote my services, NOT to generate and publish as many funny chats is possible. The Funny Chats section contain chats that happened accidentally during doing my customer service job.

What is wrong at this chat? (2018-09-08)

I wonder if he came to purchase my products or just to test customer support response times. I answered his questions and he said “thanks for your help” then “are you sleepy?” and “there is no response” and rated chat BAD for “not responding in time” despite that did not asked any more questions that required my response.

Toss Smithe & his friends – $10,000 architectural design which turned to be a fucking PRANK

Hello Mr. Teoalida. My name is Toss Smithe, and I am interested in contracting you for paying job. You will have approximately three months to complete it, and if the finished product is as expected, we are willing to pay around $10,000. I would like a custom designed 3D model floor plan, preferably done in AutoCAD… He even created an email address purposely for this joke: [email protected] and signature “Private Contractor” gave me impression of a legitimate customer.

Bad customer from Afghanistan (2018-06-03)

Despite that I wrote on website that I am NO LONGER offering architectural services (due to many customers paying too little or not paying at all), someone from Australia but claimed to be from Afghanistan, insisting me to do an architectural project for… ONLY 14 dollars! I tried to explain that architects fees start from 100 dollars… He is not even answering my questions but keep wasting my time, and did this repeatedly for 3 days!

Bad customer from India (2018-02-15)

Another HERO from India show us why we should be careful when dealing with Indian customers, or better NOT even reply chats and entertain Indian customers.

As a honest data provider I created the custom package as he requested, set price 30 USD, but the Indian reply with a disrespectful language, calling me cheater, offered to pay 10 rupees (0.15 USD), then agreed with $25 but kept wasting my time asking repeated discounts $20 then $15 probably hoping that will get my work for FREE!

What service are you interested in?

In November 2017 I had a large number of visitors on Life Story page. This do not happen naturally. Most likely someone has presented my website to his friends, having mysterious interest in my personal life for unknown scope. I received a comment, followed by 2 chats, all 3 mysterious people asking SIMILAR questions. 2 days later, a 4th person started a chat asking a series of questions about my services but without saying what service he actually want from me.

How spammers are getting email databases

Initially I thought that he wants to buy car models database I am selling, then realized that he is actually looking for car customers email database, he told me how he built his own email database by paying other websites to add a cookie that sends him the info users enter when they register, using a pop-up that you should click “I accept cookies”. For me it looks DIRTY way to collect email addresses, because they will get spammed by emails they did not subscribed for! What is your opinion?

Rare coincidence: meeting someone born in same town with me

Although I have Romanian visitors on my website, looking for information about Romania, I had a rare coincidence with someone from Germany who found my website by looking for information about North Korea. He replied at chat despite that didn’t needed anything from me, then he mentioned Romania. This would have been the first time I met a Romanian visiting North Korea page, but the real surprise came when I showed him photos from my city, he said that is born in SAME city with me: Ploieşti.

Bad customer from India (2016-07-28)

Typical Indian headache customer: he is not even opening House Design page and ask me for a 27×46 feet 3-storey house design, with 2 bedrooms, which is weird because 2-storey would have been enough, I assume that he wants ground floor with living room and 2 floors above with 2 bedrooms each, I ask him if single-family house, he say YES, but after few more minutes I realize that what he actually wants is a 3-family apartment block! After 45 min customer say that my service is too expensive and gone away. Please read my prices BEFORE contacting me and wasting BOTH time!

Bad customer from India (2016-05-20)

Another poor Indian who do not have money to pay my work, he keep wasting my time chatting and asking for Facebook trying to be friends and hoping that sooner or later I will give my work free of charge. I am NOT giving Facebook to people who I am NOT doing business with, because most likely he was going to chat with me daily, disturbing me from doing my jobs for paying customers.