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Funny chats from customer service

I run this website focusing primarily on real estate, architecture and databases, in average per day 20 people contact me via chat for consultation, purchase of my works, professional consultation and other services.

But sometimes I get funny messages, bad customers who do not want to pay my services, waste my time or even insult me when I am helping them, odd requests that have nothing to do with the services I offer, or simply children who like trolling on customer service line, disturbing me from serving real customers. I made this section to publish the FUNNIEST chats.

Published chats are an exception rather than a rule, the reason of publishing is reading amusement, NOT to defame the person who contacted me. What I posted here are less than 1% of total people who contacted me. Personal details (people names, email addresses, IP addresses, etc) are hidden, only country is visible. Read more: privacy policy.

Also please DO NOT contact me and talk funny then request publication of your conversation in Funny Chats section, hoping “to contribute” to my website. I created this website as portfolio of my works and promote my services, NOT to generate and publish as many funny chats is possible. The Funny Chats section contain chats that happened accidentally during doing my customer service job.

Aggressive / selfish customer (2021-04-01)

The below chat is 11th chat with this customer. She purchased German car database from me and I regret that I told her that I will do a new update, she started contacting me daily, hoping that by doing this she will get German database update done faster. Actually by doing this, she was delaying me from doing everyone’s projects including her own. Chat started on Thursday, April 01, 2021 7:14:04 PM (7:14:04 PM) *** Visitor 71588224 has joined the chat *** (7:14:06 PM) Support: Hello visitor from Thailand, sorry for interrupting your browsing to inform you that site owner is online. If you are looking for a specific database or need any assistance in purchasing, write here to talk with Teoalida (7:16:09 PM) Visitor: Hi again (7:16:22 PM) *** Teoalida has joined the chat *** (7:16:23 PM) Visitor: Did you have a chance to look at that German update? (7:16:24 PM) Teoalida: what’s new (7:16:40 PM) Teoalida: I am working at https://www.teoalida.com/cardatabase/year-make-model-trim-specs/ (7:17:40 PM) Visitor: But I’m talking about the German one. How was that yesterday’s update? Lots of changes since I have downloaded a few days ago? (7:17:56 PM) Teoalida: Wed, Mar 31, 12:55 AM (1 day ago)… Read More »Aggressive / selfish customer (2021-04-01)

Good customer (2021-03-15)

Been criticized for promoting negativism by posting chats that are funny rather than successful deals, someone asked me what is the chatbox intended for? Here is an example of what is chatbox intended for: a customer interested to purchase a database, ask few questions then make payment.

Funny customer calling me a “fucking machine” (2021-02-04)

This person came to buy a car database and asked an improper question about pricing, which made me to give him an improper answer, for next 40 minutes he talked funny (worth reading to laugh) accusing me for being a “robot not answering questions” and “arguing with a fucking machine” and typos in spelling (when actually HE made more typos than mine). After 1 hour he calmed down and purchased database.

Kids wasting my time (2021-01-22)

Someone (probably a kid) started a pointless conversation, admitting that “just wanted someone to talk to” then said “sorry for wasting your time” but after 2 days he/she came again, asking “But do you remember me?” I only answered that I don’t have time for pointless conversations. Probably thinking that I do not have ability to see same IP, he/she started few more conversations, in one pretending to be a businessman, in other pretending that want to buy one of my items (but not indicating what item, probably he/she didn’t even know what I am selling). In the end I banned IP.

Hardest customer I ever dealt with

This person contacted me via chat on 21 January 2021, after initial chat conversation moved to email. He turned to be a DUMB person suffering from memory loss, I answered all his questions and he blamed me for not answering and repeated questions over and over again. We exchanged 18 emails, wasting time without doing any sale.

TL:DR ridiculous database request (2020-11-09)

I received an email with subject “Database Request/Info” and attached this 4-page PDF (over 3000 words) storytelling someone’s life (similar with Nigerian SCAM emails). What are your thoughts? How would you have reacted? I replied asking him to summarize request, he replied another long email unrelated with the services I offer and blamed me for not reading PDF. 3 months later I was LESS BUSY and wasted 30 minutes reading his PDF, he did actually explained his request but in a very boring way. In short: a 16-year old got inspired from Story of my life (a page started in 2009 and gradually expanded over years) and he assumed that if I had time to write articles that don’t (directly) finance my living, he can write (and expect me to read) story of his life too, and help him doing a project free of charge now in 2020 when I am BUSY serving 20 people/day. The 3000 words “database request” could have been summarized to 2 lines:1. require me to photo something on a blank wall (I don’t understand this part, are you sending me files to print them, post in my room wall and take photo?).2. require web scraping… Read More »TL:DR ridiculous database request (2020-11-09)

Serious customer or kid doing a PRANK?

This person started conversation like a kid bored in school, asking childish questions, then after he figure out that I has been working in architecture, he said that want to build a house and ready to pay $1000… I asked for site plan and he DID gave me a site plan, but looks like he googled for a site plan just to find one to send me and keep conversation on-going for NO REASON, when he actually did not owned or building any house.

RUDE customer (2020-10-14)

Customer asked for price, I answered $400-500 for construction equipment extracting data from ritchiespecs.com, and asked customer from where I should extract data for trucks, price depends by complexity of website, he has NOT provided any website to source data from, rated chat bad and called me a time-waster… why some customers are so RUDE?

Serious customer who started chat in a stupid way (2020-09-23)

I do not take in serious visitors messaging me questions about other countries than the pages viewed, they are often kids doing research for a school project, bored in classroom and want to talk with / PRANK someone.

But not this time… behind initial messages that looked like an idiot asking about New Zealand on a website primarily aimed on Singapore housing, there was a hidden businessman who want to pay me $2000/month