Funny chats from customer service

I run this website focusing primarily on real estate, architecture and databases, in average per day 20 people contact me via chat for consultation, purchase of my works, professional consultation and other services.

But sometimes I get funny messages, bad customers who do not want to pay my services, waste my time or even insult me when I am helping them, odd requests that have nothing to do with the services I offer, or simply children who like trolling on customer service line, disturbing me from serving real customers. I made this section to publish the FUNNIEST chats.

Published chats are an exception rather than a rule, the reason of publishing is reading amusement, NOT to defame the person who contacted me. What I posted here are less than 1% of total people who contacted me. Personal details (people names, email addresses, IP addresses, etc) are hidden, only country is visible. Read more: privacy policy.

Also please DO NOT contact me and talk funny then request publication of your conversation in Funny Chats section, hoping “to contribute” to my website. I created this website as portfolio of my works and promote my services, NOT to generate and publish as many funny chats is possible. The Funny Chats section contain chats that happened accidentally during doing my customer service job.

Rude customer (2015-10-14)

Customer contact me to design apartments but from next messages seems that he was using “apartment” term incorrectly and actually wanted a single house. I tried to help him… but he said that I was going to scam him, then said “stupid architectural shit” and “go fuck yourself“? I do not understand why…

Bad customer from India (2015-08-31)

A poor guy offer me 400 rupees (6 USD) for a project I would charge at least $100… obviously I rejected deal, he threatened me that will hack, DDOS and destroy my website, also subscribed my email address to newsletters on gay sites.

If you want my services you need to agree with my prices, if you don’t agree, feel freel to go to someone else!

IDIOT comments about SERS

A random IDIOT pretending to be HDB insider, posted a speculative comment about future SERS sites, if his first comment was somewhat nice, he posted more comments using with multiple names from same IP as well as multiple IPs, praising himself and insulting me as well as other visitors of my website, a very idiotic behavior, losing his trust.

He (or they) posted 25 comments in List of SERS sites plus few more comments on other pages of my website.

Customer hired me to insult me (2015-05-30)

I stated on website that I offer design services ONLINE only, despite of this, a customer contacted me to design a floor plan in AutoCAD for a restaurant, without indicating location or that I MUST come to his location (Singapore) and take measurements, after I explained that I cannot fly to Singapore just for that, he posted public messages on website calling me rude and racist. Apparently he been aware that I am foreigner, called me to go in Singapore PURPOSELY to test my reaction for a service that I cannot do, to have a reason to INSULT me!

Annoying Americans disturbing me daily with stupid questions about North Korea

Someone asked a series of random questions. I told that the chat should be used ONLY if you need help regarding my products or services… they returned few days later, with so-called help request “I want to move in North Korea / I want to buy a house in North Korea / please help me” (you must have serious mental illness to be willing to live in North Korea, even in this case, you CANNOT BUY houses, all real estate is owned by government).

Moreover, he / she / they started multiple chats in same minute (you can see in the below chatlogs, minute and second each chat is started), asking same or different questions simultaneously in multiple chat windows, keeping me busy and difficult to answer all, and… they blame me for bad customer service… LOL!

Strange collaboration offer – interior design (2015-04-18)

I made this website intended to showcase my works and promote my services. I am usually contacted by people interested in paying me for a service or free consultation. After few minutes of talking with the below person, I realized that he NOT interested in my services but is looking for referrals for HIS interior design services, unfortunately I do not know how I can find customers from him since he is specialized in luxury stuff than regular people cannot afford, and we have interior designers in our country too.

Funny horny girl

A lonely but horny girl, visited The Sims section of my website and started talking about something totally unrelated with website content! I replied her, with funny messages but still maintained a level of seriousness.

What is wrong with this customer?

This customer ask me for a database of postal codes for HDB blocks. I already compiled a Database of HDB blocks but without postal codes and I tell him that at this moment I don’t have time to add postal codes, then he say that would be OK street name and block number only, I sent him a link to what I have, even if is NOT what he is looking for… he says FORGET IT and blame me that “I am not willing to listen him” and “I don’t send him what I have”.

He also say that already have a database but don’t answer what he have more exactly and from where he got it. He is talking very fast so I did not had time to ask him for explanations.

“DON” the worst TROLL from India

A very BIG TROLL spamming me non-sense messages repeatedly, disturbing from doing my work, or when I am chatting with someone else (which may be a customer, business collaboration, serious chat, etc), if this troll is typing messages every second, I hear incoming message beeps every second and I may miss when the other person has typed something important.

Then, the TROLL asked me where I posted the chat, despite that I did NOT posted it as I do NOT like to publish too many funny chats and damage my serious website with them… he insisted to have his chat featured on my website to show to friends.

Funny Singaporean (2013-10-04) claims that HDB will stop construction in 2015 and prices will skyrocket

For 1 hour he/she tried to convince me that HDB will die, that after 2015 construction of new flats will slow down and stop some day due of limited land, HDB resale prices will rise, etc. He should have posted a PUBLIC comment on website to share his “realistic” thoughts to everyone… but nooo, he is wasting his time telling his non-sense just to me, wasting my time too. I do not understand the scope of conversation, what he actually wanted from me?

Would you treat THIS as potential customer? (2013-09-28)

See also 2012-12-12 chat where people told me that is RUDE to start a chat by asking questions about personal life, without presenting yourself or informing what are YOU looking for. I was advised to ignore such people as they are NOT going to be customers, they just intrude into personal life.

ARE YOU SURE that every one asking such questions do not want any real thing? Look at the following chat, visitor started chat by saying “sucky website” then chat had an unexpected professional turnout… (although it might have been a PRANK)

Do I annoy people?

I don’t understand this visitor… he came at me (architectural designer) to ask me to design a website for him because he deleted his website (and what makes him thinking that I am good person to design someone else’s website FOR FREE?). If he had a website and deleted accidentally, he should redesign it as did before. I think that I replied nicely but he say that I try to annoy him.