Customer contact me to design apartments but from next messages seems that he was using “apartment” term incorrectly and actually wanted a single house. I tried to help him… but he said that I was going to scam him, then said “stupid architectural shit” and “go fuck yourself“? I do not understand why…
Funny chats from customer service
I run this website focusing primarily on real estate, architecture and databases, in average per day 20 people contact me via chat for consultation, purchase of my works, professional consultation and other services.
But sometimes I get funny messages, bad customers who do not want to pay my services, waste my time or even insult me when I am helping them, odd requests that have nothing to do with the services I offer, or simply children who like trolling on customer service line, disturbing me from serving real customers. I made this section to publish the FUNNIEST chats.
Also please DO NOT contact me and talk funny then request publication of your conversation in Funny Chats section, hoping “to contribute” to my website. I created this website as portfolio of my works and promote my services, NOT to generate and publish as many funny chats is possible. The Funny Chats section contain chats that happened accidentally during doing my customer service job.
A poor guy offer me 400 rupees (6 USD) for a project I would charge at least $100… obviously I rejected deal, he threatened me that will hack, DDOS and destroy my website, also subscribed my email address to newsletters on gay sites.
If you want my services you need to agree with my prices, if you don’t agree, feel freel to go to someone else!
A random IDIOT pretending to be HDB insider, posted a speculative comment about future SERS sites, if his first comment was somewhat nice, he posted more comments using with multiple names from same IP as well as multiple IPs, praising himself and insulting me as well as other visitors of my website, a very idiotic behavior, losing his trust.
He (or they) posted 25 comments in List of SERS sites plus few more comments on other pages of my website.
I stated on website that I offer design services ONLINE only, despite of this, a customer contacted me to design a floor plan in AutoCAD for a restaurant, without indicating location or that I MUST come to his location (Singapore) and take measurements, after I explained that I cannot fly to Singapore just for that, he posted public messages on website calling me rude and racist. Apparently he been aware that I am foreigner, called me to go in Singapore PURPOSELY to test my reaction for a service that I cannot do, to have a reason to INSULT me!
Someone asked a series of random questions. I told that the chat should be used ONLY if you need help regarding my products or services… they returned few days later, with so-called help request “I want to move in North Korea / I want to buy a house in North Korea / please help me” (you must have serious mental illness to be willing to live in North Korea, even in this case, you CANNOT BUY houses, all real estate is owned by government).
Moreover, he / she / they started multiple chats in same minute (you can see in the below chatlogs, minute and second each chat is started), asking same or different questions simultaneously in multiple chat windows, keeping me busy and difficult to answer all, and… they blame me for bad customer service… LOL!
I made this website intended to showcase my works and promote my services. I am usually contacted by people interested in paying me for a service or free consultation. After few minutes of talking with the below person, I realized that he NOT interested in my services but is looking for referrals for HIS interior design services, unfortunately I do not know how I can find customers from him since he is specialized in luxury stuff than regular people cannot afford, and we have interior designers in our country too.
He is asking me for “permission to leave my website” then say that will never visit my website again! WTF is wrong with some people?
There’s IMPOSSIBLE to read this chat without laughing… That’s a truly funny singaporean english. Using lots of words that I do not understand, including the overused ARH and LIM BEI words which at end I figured that may have been his name.
Non-sense childish conversation, he ADMITS that came on my website for purpose of annoying me, but after few minutes he appears to have a fair knowledge about webdesign and WordPress, so I guess that is not really a child.
A lonely but horny girl, visited The Sims section of my website and started talking about something totally unrelated with website content! I replied her, with funny messages but still maintained a level of seriousness.
This customer ask me for a database of postal codes for HDB blocks. I already compiled a Database of HDB blocks but without postal codes and I tell him that at this moment I don’t have time to add postal codes, then he say that would be OK street name and block number only, I sent him a link to what I have, even if is NOT what he is looking for… he says FORGET IT and blame me that “I am not willing to listen him” and “I don’t send him what I have”.
He also say that already have a database but don’t answer what he have more exactly and from where he got it. He is talking very fast so I did not had time to ask him for explanations.
Would YOU help someone addressing you with a lot of profanity words? I try to be nice with everyone, including angry people because had cases with people swearing then turned into customers (example), but the following one keep swearing me that I can’t help… is not clear what help he needed.
After I designed first sketch, he asked me to design also detailed architectural drawings and 3D design, which takek more than 10 hours of work, so would have been a $250 project, but he say “there is no condition for paying” = how you can be so idiot?
This is funny… someone thinks that a stranger talking via internet can tell him length and width of his 90 sqm land.
A very BIG TROLL spamming me non-sense messages repeatedly, disturbing from doing my work, or when I am chatting with someone else (which may be a customer, business collaboration, serious chat, etc), if this troll is typing messages every second, I hear incoming message beeps every second and I may miss when the other person has typed something important.
Then, the TROLL asked me where I posted the chat, despite that I did NOT posted it as I do NOT like to publish too many funny chats and damage my serious website with them… he insisted to have his chat featured on my website to show to friends.
Funny Singaporean (2013-10-04) claims that HDB will stop construction in 2015 and prices will skyrocket
For 1 hour he/she tried to convince me that HDB will die, that after 2015 construction of new flats will slow down and stop some day due of limited land, HDB resale prices will rise, etc. He should have posted a PUBLIC comment on website to share his “realistic” thoughts to everyone… but nooo, he is wasting his time telling his non-sense just to me, wasting my time too. I do not understand the scope of conversation, what he actually wanted from me?
See also 2012-12-12 chat where people told me that is RUDE to start a chat by asking questions about personal life, without presenting yourself or informing what are YOU looking for. I was advised to ignore such people as they are NOT going to be customers, they just intrude into personal life.
ARE YOU SURE that every one asking such questions do not want any real thing? Look at the following chat, visitor started chat by saying “sucky website” then chat had an unexpected professional turnout… (although it might have been a PRANK)
I don’t understand this visitor… he came at me (architectural designer) to ask me to design a website for him because he deleted his website (and what makes him thinking that I am good person to design someone else’s website FOR FREE?). If he had a website and deleted accidentally, he should redesign it as did before. I think that I replied nicely but he say that I try to annoy him.
I provided customer a SAMPLE Excel database and… he may have tried to help me with a suggestion to indicate column headers on website so customers won’t need to download samples (he might not had Excel installed) but the way he addressed me left me in confusion!
WTF!! I am designer working in architecture field…. and this guy hire me to design a website for him despite that I have NOT stated anywhere that I offer webdesign services! He is first asking my price, then offering $400, but not explaining exactly what he wants!
For people saying that I should treat everyone like a potential customer: see here best example of a person who contacted me just for friendship!
This customer is CRAZY! Using a rude and harsh language, nonsense critics, suggesting things that I was already doing and contradicting himself.
A student ask me for help, but do not ask any precise questions, I wait for him to ask a proper question, but he looks worried that I do not answer… but what I COULD answer?
This chat is unusual and crazy! First, imagine someone coming to your store and ask for price without choosing a product! Second, he is asking me to design a house in only 10 sqm. Third, after he asked my help, he say that I can’t help and himself have a better solution.
American people are often lazy to learn any foreign language, but the funny part is that this person do not believe that people born in non-english countries can speak english… and thinks that I am using Google Translate!
polly wanna cracker, woof woof woof… the fuck does this mean?
Someone from Singapore who pretended to be American, don’t know what is the metric system! Talked like a crazy kid for 40 min…
[16:34] Visitor: Are you telling me, I got into your website?
[16:35] Visitor: Then I better get out and not disturb you (:
A random visitor started to give me interesting but CRAZY info about future developments of Singapore, future HDB towns, future MRT lines, also saying that Concept Plan 2011 will be released on 15 July 2012, etc… Can someone confirm if this is REAL, what parts from what he is saying are REAL?
North Korea article is the most popular page within Housing around the World section. Every day in average 30 people visit the North Korea page, and over whole year few hundreds contacted me on this subject, sadly majority of them are children using bad language asking non-sense questions. Here I show few examples of SERIOUS chats.