Funny chats from customer service

I run this website focusing primarily on real estate, architecture and databases, in average per day 20 people contact me via chat for consultation, purchase of my works, professional consultation and other services.

But sometimes I get funny messages, bad customers who do not want to pay my services, waste my time or even insult me when I am helping them, odd requests that have nothing to do with the services I offer, or simply children who like trolling on customer service line, disturbing me from serving real customers. I made this section to publish the FUNNIEST chats.

Published chats are an exception rather than a rule, the reason of publishing is reading amusement, NOT to defame the person who contacted me. What I posted here are less than 1% of total people who contacted me. Personal details (people names, email addresses, IP addresses, etc) are hidden, only country is visible. Read more: privacy policy.

Also please DO NOT contact me and talk funny then request publication of your conversation in Funny Chats section, hoping “to contribute” to my website. I created this website as portfolio of my works and promote my services, NOT to generate and publish as many funny chats is possible. The Funny Chats section contain chats that happened accidentally during doing my customer service job.

Annoying kid (2020-04-08)

Childish attitude, someone ask dumb questions and unhappy of my answers, he start swearing. Then say that will find another person who sell… SELL WHAT? I’m doubt that he was buying anything. He closed chat and started another chat pretending that want to buy a property in Singapore, then to buy a car “to have sex in it”. It’s clearly he is just a stupid kid who do not realize that is wasting my time from serving real customers.

The Sims player accuse me for being RUDE when actually SHE is rude

Someone asked which The Sims 4 expansion packs to buy, I don’t think that I am supposed to answer because this depends by each person preferences. After 16 hours I got a very similar question, I though that is same person and I answered without checking chat history to see that they were from different countries… she replied accusing me for being RUDE. Other people said SHE is the rude one, not me.

Lost customer for a stupid reason (2020-03-10)

He said that my formula is “not correct” and when I asked him to give a correct formula, he didn’t replied anymore, 20 minutes later he quit chat and I feel sorry for not emailing him immediately, I was also busy with website redesign during 13 and 20 March, I hoped that he will come back by his own to continue conversation, 3 days later I sent follow up emails to 20 people that I talked with over last few months, asking him to come back to continue our conversation, but he said that made own database because lost a week waiting for me. I do not understand what he was waiting a week for?

DUMB weird question for an architect

I made this website focusing primarily on housing information and architectural design services… and one day someone emailed me a DUMB question that have nothing to do with the services I offer. He asked if people use red curtains in their homes because saw red curtains at his brother online relationship with a woman, 3 months later he replied me again to say that woman was a SCAMMER.

Idiot wasting my time for 4 years

This person from Croatia asked few questions about Chinese cars, and assuming that he want to purchase a car database, I answered his questions. Usually do not take more than 15 minutes to convince customers to purchase or not purchase a database, but he kept asking questions for more than 90 minutes and I realized that he is not going to buy anything, he is just an idiot chatting non-sense and wasting my time from serving REAL customers!
Update: I believe that SAME person is responsible for few dozens stupid messages received over last 4 years (at least).

Big customer purchasing a bungalow or a kid making a PRANK? (2019-05-28)

Someone from Malaysia contacted me saying that is from Indonesia and want to buy a luxury bungalow in Singapore, this could be a major deal for William, my partner agent selling properties in Singapore. I assumed that he is a businessman travelling through multiple countries, in 1st and 2nd chats he apparently wasn’t able to speak English so I activated chat auto-translate for Chinese, but in 3rd chat he asked me to talk English because don’t understand and saying “why should I trust this” looks suspicious if he was an actual customer because it sounded like a child making a PRANK.

Spammer paid $500 per month to SPAM backlinks on my website?

All blogs are target of SPAM bots posting comments automatically, sometimes humans also post comments, and one of them sent a message via chat and this started a conversation that showed me that he is being paid $500/month to post SPAM comments. A waste of effort for him and waste of money for his client, because comments linking to penis enlargement products are being deleted by site owners, and even if are not deleted, links in comments are NOFOLLOW and client won’t get any higher rank in Google.

Why someone would want to emigrate to North Korea?

(5:49:53 PM) Visitor: I would rather live in a country which is clean, untouched and with proper rules(not with the “stupid law”). Where people are more kind and don’t kill for money or do the crime because of money. This developed World just became a chaos. People are lying, stealing, killing only to make a benefit. Many just trying to work to survive. The gap between rich and poor is unbelievable and it is getting worse. 1% has the money of 99%

Bad customer from Canada (2018-12-24)

We chatted for 45 minutes, he asked me to make drawings and said that “for preliminary drawings we do not pay“, he even refused to give an email address, how we can take in serious such customers IDIOTS? Thanks to these idiots I am no longer interested in offering architectural design services or answering people contacting me on architecture subject.

Bad students from UK (2018-10-16)

Bad students from UK asked me for sample car database with a model from Volkswagen and another sample from Mini, promising to purchase complete database of these 2 makes via PayPal, but they ran away, later they came back saying that the one-model sample was enough, that they are also businessmen but can pay only cash in post (I don’t believe / accept that) = they only WASTED MY TIME!

Funny customer (2018-10-02)

Then he said that is looking for an architect in Scotland… I could help him even without being in Scotland, he did not provided project details, he mentioned about his past experiences with architects that ran away after he paid them without providing drawings, I mentioned about my past experiences with customers running away after I made drawings (to show him that I CAN make drawings without advance payment), then he said that I am not willing to cooperate and that I am firing accusations against him… I don’t understand this attitude.

Idiot Singaporean (2018-09-30)

I wonder what is his age and IQ… given by the STUPID remarks he make. He wasted my time asking a question that nobody can answer, accused me for having a “sad bad job” and “no friends” just because I run this website alone, then said that “a terrorist made my projects” just because I work with a programmer from Pakistan.

Indian put me in confusion!

Someone saying “do you have updated india mobile database” gave me impression of a customer who purchased database and require an update. I realized that he is not an existing customer and do not want a database of mobile phone DEVICES, but rather a database of mobile phone NUMBERS which I have no idea how to get them and beside this is personal information illegal to distribute. There was a message at top of page that I am NOT selling any database of phone numbers, but many Indians are idiots and start chatting without reading.