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Dec 31

The FUNNIEST questions from people

Funny questions received via chat widget


surveys

Looking at my architecture works, but need… a GIRL from Philippines?

Wednesday, 29 Jan, 2014
Country: Saudi Arabia
Page URL: http://www.teoalida.com/
[15:22] (trigger): Hello from website admin! If you need any help or just wanna chat, just drop here a message!
[15:23] Visitor: yes i need a girl from philippines
[15:23] Teoalida has joined the conversation
[15:23] Teoalida: You need a girl? LOL
[15:23] Visitor: female or woman lol
[15:24] Teoalida: Find a dating website…. here I offer house design services
[15:24] Visitor: Sorry.
[15:25] Teoalida: What was your google search?
[15:26] Visitor: yes i use google to search
[15:26] Teoalida: I mean what were your search words?
[15:27] Visitor: never mind – thank anyway
[15:28] Teoalida: Because it’s UNLIKELY that my website will appear if you are searching for girls…. I have lots of filipino visitors of which 40% contact me from Middle East looking for house plans to build when they return home. I though that you’re one of them
[15:28] Visitor has left the conversation

How to NOT ask a question

Who is Alice?

Monday, 11 Feb, 2013
Country: Singapore, City: Singapore
Page URL: http://www.teoalida.com/
Google search: www.teoalida.com
[1:59] Teoalida (trigger): Hello from website admin! Can I help you with anything? drop here a message!
[2:01] Visitor: Who am i?
[2:01] Teoalida has joined the conversation
[2:01] Teoalida: lol?
[2:02] Visitor: Are you Alice?
[2:02] Teoalida: Who is alice?
[2:02] Teoalida: “Hello from website admin!” is not clear enough?
[2:06] Teoalida: I see you searching site URL so I guess you visited me before… what are you looking for?
[2:06] Visitor has left the conversation

Asking for photos

Monday, 25 Feb, 2013
Country: Romania
Page URL: http://www.teoalida.com/category/about/
[24:49] Teoalida (trigger): Hello from website admin! Can I help you with anything? drop here a message!
[24:49] Visitor: some photos of you
[24:49] Teoalida has joined the conversation
[24:49] Teoalida: No photos here
[24:49] Visitor: where i can view
[24:50] Visitor: photos of you ?
[24:50] Teoalida: I don’t think that the photos of me are the most important thing
[24:51] Visitor: dickhead , bye
[24:51] Teoalida: Who the hell are you?
[24:51] Visitor has left the conversation

Buy chicken

Thursday, 14 Mar, 2013
Country: Canada
Page URL: http://www.teoalida.com/
[16:22] Visitor: Hello?
[16:22] Teoalida has joined the conversation
[16:22] Teoalida: hi
[16:22] Visitor is now known as Jefferson
[16:23] Jefferson: Do you know a good place to buy some chiken?
[16:23] Jefferson: chicken
[16:23] Teoalida: Go to supermarket
[16:23] Jefferson: ok thanks
[16:23] Teoalida: Why do you ask ME this?
[16:23] Jefferson: »No time sorry bye
[16:24] Teoalida: Is one of the weirdest questions from website visitors
[16:24] Jefferson has left the conversation

Vodafone

Friday, 15 Mar, 2013
Country: India
Page URL: http://www.teoalida.com/
[13:57] Visitor: me vodafone ki flate plan k bare me janana chahta hu
[13:57] Teoalida has joined the conversation
[13:57] Teoalida: Can you speak english?
[13:58] Visitor has left the conversation

VERY WEIRD CASE… I see his google search was “vodafone sim flate scheme” and I tried to search same thing, my website doesn’t appear at all in search result… how he came to MY website? Google BUG?

Bad language

Tuesday, 25 Jun, 2013
Country: Singapore
Page URL: http://www.teoalida.com/singapore/btolist/
[17:24] Visitor: Hello
[17:25] Teoalida has joined the conversation
[17:25] Teoalida: Hi
[17:25] Visitor: Who are u
[17:25] Teoalida: The only admin of this site
[17:25] Teoalida: isn’t obvious?
[17:25] Visitor: You are a fucker
[17:25] Teoalida: Do you have a LEGIT reason to say that?
[17:25] Visitor: ok
[17:26] Visitor has left the conversation

Bad language again

Friday, 5 Jul, 2013
Country: Singapore
Page URL: http://www.teoalida.com/singapore/btolist/
[17:42] Visitor 15621915: Hello
[17:42] Visitor 15621915 is now known as Visitor
[17:42] Visitor: How much 4 room
[17:42] Teoalida has joined the conversation
[17:42] Teoalida: how much what?
[17:43] Visitor: For punggol
[17:43] Visitor: whatpunggol what u fucker
[17:43] Teoalida: Number of 4-room units available, prices or… if prices, they are around 300k
[17:43] Teoalida: And why you talk such way?
[17:44] Teoalida: HDB Website > Sale launches… to see exact prices
[17:44] Visitor has left the conversation
[17:44] Teoalida: I do not keep in mind EVERY price
[17:44] * You are not in a chat *

Weird question

Chat started on Wednesday, December 24, 2014 9:32:42 PM
Country: United States
Page URL: http://www.teoalida.com/thesims/category/lots/

(9:32:42 PM) *** Visitor has joined the chat ***
(9:32:47 PM) chat support @ teoalida.com: Hello and welcome to my The Sims fan page… if you need anything or just wanna chat, drop here a message!
(9:33:19 PM) Visitor: hi can you give me some advice
(9:33:21 PM) *** Teoalida has joined the chat ***
(9:33:25 PM) Teoalida: for?
(9:33:58 PM) Visitor: well someone told my crush i go out with them an dhe found out now everyone thinks im the bad guy
(9:34:51 PM) Teoalida: hmm.. what are you talkin about?
(9:35:37 PM) *** Visitor has left ***

Asking for marriage

Chat started on Saturday, January 03, 2015 7:45:57 PM
Country: France
Page URL: http://www.teoalida.com/games/caesar3/

(7:45:57 PM) *** Visitor has joined the chat ***
(7:46:01 PM) chat support – teoalida.com: Hello from website admin! If you need any help or just wanna chat, drop here a message!
(7:46:36 PM) Visitor: will you marry me?
(7:47:06 PM) *** Teoalida has joined the chat ***
(7:47:06 PM) Teoalida: how old are you?
(7:47:28 PM) *** Visitor has left ***

Another idiot looking for females

Chat started on Sunday, April 17, 2016 11:38:54 PM
Country: France
Page URL: http://teoalida.webs.com/webscomreview.htm

(11:38:54 PM) *** Visitor 90853422 has joined the chat ***
(11:38:56 PM) teoalida: Hello from website admin! If you need any help or just wanna chat, drop here a message!
(11:39:12 PM) Visitor 90853422: are you a woman ?
(11:39:27 PM) *** Teoalida has joined the chat ***
(11:39:32 PM) Teoalida: a man… what importance have?
(11:39:43 PM) Visitor 90853422: I need a woman
(11:40:11 PM) Teoalida: then why are you on my website about webdesign? go on facebook or adultfriendfinder
(11:40:25 PM) Visitor 90853422: I’m hungry
(11:41:32 PM) Visitor 90853422: If you are not a woman you can not do anything for my prick
(11:41:52 PM) Teoalida: and if I was woman… what I could do ONLINE?
(11:42:20 PM) *** Visitor 90853422 has left ***

Been “recommend by a friend” to ask about… homosexuality?

Chat started on Friday, May 06, 2016 4:42:13 PM
Country: United States
Page URL: http://www.teoalida.com/

(4:42:13 PM) *** Visitor 44278805 has joined the chat ***
(4:42:13 PM) Visitor 44278805: hey i need some help with my project on LGBT culture
(4:42:40 PM) Visitor 44278805: plz help
(4:42:40 PM) *** Teoalida has joined the chat ***
(4:42:42 PM) Teoalida: hmm?
(4:42:56 PM) Visitor 44278805: i am in desperate need of some pointers
(4:43:33 PM) Visitor 44278805: this is a massive project and would like some “special assistance”
(4:43:42 PM) Visitor 44278805: can u provide?
(4:44:03 PM) Teoalida: regarding cars?
(4:44:18 PM) Visitor 44278805: no regarding the state of the homosexual male
(4:44:41 PM) Teoalida: oh lol I though that you’re same person that was 30 min ago
(4:45:00 PM) Teoalida: then how my architecture & database website is related with homosexuality?
(4:45:40 PM) Visitor 44278805: i think i am lost, can u redirect me to a helpful source?
(4:46:03 PM) Teoalida: how did you found my website?
(4:46:23 PM) Visitor 44278805: friend recommended it
(4:46:31 PM) Teoalida: Don’t know where to redirect you because don’t know what are you looking for…. maybe Wikipedia will help?
(4:46:49 PM) Visitor 44278805: cringe! this is a serious project i need something better than wikipedia
(4:46:53 PM) Visitor 44278805: >_<
(4:46:53 PM) Teoalida: which friend would recommend an architecture website for that?
(4:47:32 PM) Visitor 44278805: You have been PRANKED! plz like and subscribe my channel :DDDDD
(4:47:41 PM) Visitor 44278805 has rated the chat Good
(4:47:58 PM) Visitor 44278805 commented: “phenomenal sevice, but questioned my sexuality”
(4:48:00 PM) Teoalida: You’re sooo funny
(4:48:10 PM) Visitor 44278805: wow after i left a good comment
(4:48:16 PM) Teoalida: This chat worth posting in http://www.teoalida.com/offtopic/weird-questions/
(4:48:20 PM) Teoalida: and what channel?
(4:49:21 PM) Visitor 44278805: thats confindential
(4:49:49 PM) Visitor 44278805: have a nice day
(4:50:21 PM) Teoalida: what is confidential?
(4:50:23 PM) *** Visitor 44278805 has left ***

Funny comments left in sidebar chatbox

NameTs: Did i say you got a shit website? what d you spect if no one reply you dumb ass? (2 Nov 2011)
Teoalida: Which visitor are you and which part/thing of website is so shitty? Your english is shit too! (2 Nov 2011)
Koco: Ignore this NameTs. this guy is talikng rubbish. I find this website interesting. (19 Dec 2011)
Teoalida: Yes, website interesting, BUT I found later some broken links, probably this made him angry, if he would tell me exactly where is the problem, instead of swearing, I could fix immediately (20 Dec 2011)

Funny offline messages got in email

From: miss cleo <miss_cleo@ymail.com>
URL: http://www.teoalida.com/category/fun/
hello darling this is cleo miss cleo what city u calling from your a libra arentcha osteoperosis runs in family remember the pill positive thing things happn 4 a reason

From: miss cleo <psychic_gurl@ymail.com>
URL: http://www.teoalida.com/singapore/hdb-floor-plans/#comments
i love you!!!!

Who is this “Miss Cleo” who sent me 2 crazy messages? What do you want from me? I tried to reply but you didn’t left a VALID email! I posted them here, maybe you will see them and reply!

Someone from Japan visit my website about Singapore and ask about India

Chat started on Wednesday, October 19, 2016 9:33:14 AM
Country: Japan
Page URL: http://www.teoalida.com/singapore/hdbprices/

(9:33:14 AM) *** Visitor 57813300 has joined the chat ***
(9:33:16 AM) teoalida: Hello from website admin! If you need any help or just wanna chat, drop here a message!
(9:33:36 AM) Visitor 57813300: hi
(9:33:47 AM) *** Teoalida has joined the chat ***
(9:33:49 AM) Teoalida: what’s up
(9:33:57 AM) Visitor 57813300: ntg
(9:34:10 AM) Visitor 57813300: i need some info
(9:34:15 AM) Visitor 57813300: advice as well
(9:34:44 AM) Teoalida: ask me
(9:36:22 AM) Visitor 57813300: i want to buy a 2 BHK flat in 5 floor apartment, and i has choice of only 5th floor east facing flat of 1200 sft because remaining floor flats are sold out
(9:36:49 AM) Visitor 57813300: and cost is 35 lakhs
(9:36:53 AM) Visitor 57813300: in Hyderabad
(9:37:35 AM) Visitor 57813300: so,,,,its a good choice of buying or not? and the location of flat is very near to all
(9:38:10 AM) Teoalida: I see you being from Japan, visiting my website about Singapore, but ask a question about India… how crazy is this?
(9:38:26 AM) Visitor 57813300: hahaha
(9:38:29 AM) Visitor 57813300: ok,,,bye
(9:38:41 AM) Teoalida: www.teoalida.com/world/india
(9:39:02 AM) Teoalida: I have a small article about India… but can’t advice about buying properties
(9:43:49 AM) Teoalida: may I know what keywords you searched on google to find my website?
(10:00:16 AM) Visitor 57813300: i hate this site
(10:00:34 AM) Visitor 57813300: bye
(10:00:46 AM) Teoalida: Everyone in Singapore loves it
(10:01:09 AM) Visitor 57813300: hum
(10:01:24 AM) Teoalida: I have 800 daily visitors of which 500 from Singapore
(10:07:27 AM) *** Visitor 57813300 has left ***

You want my services or you promote your services?

Chat started on Friday, February 17, 2017 1:55:20 PM
Country: Pakistan
Page URL: http://www.teoalida.com/page/2/

(1:55:20 PM) *** Visitor 15018238 has joined the chat ***
(1:55:21 PM) Visitor 15018238: i dont plan of shopping mall ground and first floor plan
(1:55:41 PM) *** Teoalida has joined the chat ***
(1:55:48 PM) Teoalida: don’t?
(1:56:00 PM) Visitor 15018238: want
(1:56:55 PM) Teoalida: I have imagination to design residential buildings… or do you have a JPG plan and need me to convert to AutoCAD?
(1:58:19 PM) Visitor 15018238: convert to autocad
(1:58:46 PM) Teoalida: hmm… let’s see your drawing that need to be converted
(1:59:28 PM) Visitor 15018238: send me image of plan i can make it on autocad
(1:59:31 PM) Teoalida: http://www.teoalida.com/design/papertocad/
(1:59:53 PM) Teoalida: you want my service or you offer service for me?
(2:00:22 PM) *** Visitor 15018238 has left ***

Totally off-topic question

Chat started on Thursday, March 16, 2017 3:40:36 PM
Country: India
Page URL: http://www.teoalida.com/category/world/

(3:40:36 PM) *** Visitor 44352328 has joined the chat ***
(3:40:37 PM) Visitor 44352328: i want a job in singapore
(3:40:55 PM) *** Teoalida has joined the chat ***
(3:40:58 PM) Teoalida: so… how I can help?
(3:42:50 PM) Visitor 44352328: i want some company names and their mail id to pass my resume.
(3:42:59 PM) Visitor 44352328: can you help me.
(3:43:40 PM) Teoalida: What are your skills? in what fields do you want a job?
(3:45:13 PM) Visitor 44352328: i have completed BE Civil and MBA in HRM i want in civil field
(3:46:45 PM) Teoalida: It’s funny how many off-topic question I get from indians. Just because I run a website about Singapore real estate means that I know civil engineering companies in this country? (people from other country don’t ask such questions)
(3:47:20 PM) Teoalida: in case you want to know procedure to get a job… http://www.livinginsingapore.org/7-easy-steps-to-find-work-in-singapore/
(3:58:48 PM) *** Visitor 44352328 has left ***

I want to buy a house in North Korea

Chat started on Friday, March 17, 2017 3:54:19 PM
Country: United States
Page URL: http://www.teoalida.com/world/northkorea/

(3:54:19 PM) *** Visitor 29790715 has joined the chat ***
(3:54:20 PM) Visitor 29790715: I want to buy a house
(3:54:35 PM) *** Teoalida has joined the chat ***
(3:54:43 PM) Teoalida: Do you think that I am real estate agent?
(3:54:48 PM) Visitor 29790715: yes
(3:54:54 PM) Teoalida: I am not!
(3:55:00 PM) Visitor 29790715: yes you are
(3:55:25 PM) Teoalida: and I can see you being looking in North Korea page… don’t say that you want to buy in this country which have no legal home ownership
(3:55:47 PM) Visitor 29790715: oh sorry\
(3:56:27 PM) *** Visitor 29790715 has left ***

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