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Dec 31

The FUNNIEST questions from people

Funny questions received via chat widget

This page shows the funniest and weirdest messages sent by website visitors. They are usually messages and questions that you should NOT ask to a customer support service.

Also please DO NOT contact me and talk funny, intending “to contribute” to website. The purpose of website NOT to make funny chats, but to show my works, primarily in architecture & real estate fields, and this page show funny chats that happened accidentally during running this website.


surveys

Looking at my architecture works, but need… a GIRL from Philippines?

Wednesday, 29 Jan, 2014
Country: Saudi Arabia
Page URL: http://www.teoalida.com/
[15:22] (trigger): Hello from website admin! If you need any help or just wanna chat, just drop here a message!
[15:23] Visitor: yes i need a girl from philippines
[15:23] Teoalida has joined the conversation
[15:23] Teoalida: You need a girl? LOL
[15:23] Visitor: female or woman lol
[15:24] Teoalida: Find a dating website…. here I offer house design services
[15:24] Visitor: Sorry.
[15:25] Teoalida: What was your google search?
[15:26] Visitor: yes i use google to search
[15:26] Teoalida: I mean what were your search words?
[15:27] Visitor: never mind – thank anyway
[15:28] Teoalida: Because it’s UNLIKELY that my website will appear if you are searching for girls…. I have lots of filipino visitors of which 40% contact me from Middle East looking for house plans to build when they return home. I though that you’re one of them
[15:28] Visitor has left the conversation

How to NOT ask a question

Who is Alice?

Monday, 11 Feb, 2013
Country: Singapore, City: Singapore
Page URL: http://www.teoalida.com/
Google search: www.teoalida.com
[1:59] Teoalida (trigger): Hello from website admin! Can I help you with anything? drop here a message!
[2:01] Visitor: Who am i?
[2:01] Teoalida has joined the conversation
[2:01] Teoalida: lol?
[2:02] Visitor: Are you Alice?
[2:02] Teoalida: Who is alice?
[2:02] Teoalida: “Hello from website admin!” is not clear enough?
[2:06] Teoalida: I see you searching site URL so I guess you visited me before… what are you looking for?
[2:06] Visitor has left the conversation

Asking for photos

Monday, 25 Feb, 2013
Country: Romania
Page URL: http://www.teoalida.com/category/about/
[24:49] Teoalida (trigger): Hello from website admin! Can I help you with anything? drop here a message!
[24:49] Visitor: some photos of you
[24:49] Teoalida has joined the conversation
[24:49] Teoalida: No photos here
[24:49] Visitor: where i can view
[24:50] Visitor: photos of you ?
[24:50] Teoalida: I don’t think that the photos of me are the most important thing
[24:51] Visitor: dickhead , bye
[24:51] Teoalida: Who the hell are you?
[24:51] Visitor has left the conversation

Buy chicken

Thursday, 14 Mar, 2013
Country: Canada
Page URL: http://www.teoalida.com/
[16:22] Visitor: Hello?
[16:22] Teoalida has joined the conversation
[16:22] Teoalida: hi
[16:22] Visitor is now known as Jefferson
[16:23] Jefferson: Do you know a good place to buy some chiken?
[16:23] Jefferson: chicken
[16:23] Teoalida: Go to supermarket
[16:23] Jefferson: ok thanks
[16:23] Teoalida: Why do you ask ME this?
[16:23] Jefferson: »No time sorry bye
[16:24] Teoalida: Is one of the weirdest questions from website visitors
[16:24] Jefferson has left the conversation

Vodafone

Friday, 15 Mar, 2013
Country: India
Page URL: http://www.teoalida.com/
[13:57] Visitor: me vodafone ki flate plan k bare me janana chahta hu
[13:57] Teoalida has joined the conversation
[13:57] Teoalida: Can you speak english?
[13:58] Visitor has left the conversation

VERY WEIRD CASE… I see his google search was “vodafone sim flate scheme” and I tried to search same thing, my website doesn’t appear at all in search result… how he came to MY website? Google BUG?

Bad language

Tuesday, 25 Jun, 2013
Country: Singapore
Page URL: http://www.teoalida.com/singapore/btolist/
[17:24] Visitor: Hello
[17:25] Teoalida has joined the conversation
[17:25] Teoalida: Hi
[17:25] Visitor: Who are u
[17:25] Teoalida: The only admin of this site
[17:25] Teoalida: isn’t obvious?
[17:25] Visitor: You are a fucker
[17:25] Teoalida: Do you have a LEGIT reason to say that?
[17:25] Visitor: ok
[17:26] Visitor has left the conversation

Bad language again

Friday, 5 Jul, 2013
Country: Singapore
Page URL: http://www.teoalida.com/singapore/btolist/
[17:42] Visitor 15621915: Hello
[17:42] Visitor 15621915 is now known as Visitor
[17:42] Visitor: How much 4 room
[17:42] Teoalida has joined the conversation
[17:42] Teoalida: how much what?
[17:43] Visitor: For punggol
[17:43] Visitor: whatpunggol what u fucker
[17:43] Teoalida: Number of 4-room units available, prices or… if prices, they are around 300k
[17:43] Teoalida: And why you talk such way?
[17:44] Teoalida: HDB Website > Sale launches… to see exact prices
[17:44] Visitor has left the conversation
[17:44] Teoalida: I do not keep in mind EVERY price
[17:44] * You are not in a chat *

Weird question

Chat started on Wednesday, December 24, 2014 9:32:42 PM
Country: United States
Page URL: http://www.teoalida.com/thesims/category/lots/

(9:32:42 PM) *** Visitor has joined the chat ***
(9:32:47 PM) chat support @ teoalida.com: Hello and welcome to my The Sims fan page… if you need anything or just wanna chat, drop here a message!
(9:33:19 PM) Visitor: hi can you give me some advice
(9:33:21 PM) *** Teoalida has joined the chat ***
(9:33:25 PM) Teoalida: for?
(9:33:58 PM) Visitor: well someone told my crush i go out with them an dhe found out now everyone thinks im the bad guy
(9:34:51 PM) Teoalida: hmm.. what are you talkin about?
(9:35:37 PM) *** Visitor has left ***

Asking for marriage

Chat started on Saturday, January 03, 2015 7:45:57 PM
Country: France
Page URL: http://www.teoalida.com/games/caesar3/

(7:45:57 PM) *** Visitor has joined the chat ***
(7:46:01 PM) chat support – teoalida.com: Hello from website admin! If you need any help or just wanna chat, drop here a message!
(7:46:36 PM) Visitor: will you marry me?
(7:47:06 PM) *** Teoalida has joined the chat ***
(7:47:06 PM) Teoalida: how old are you?
(7:47:28 PM) *** Visitor has left ***

Another idiot looking for females

Chat started on Sunday, April 17, 2016 11:38:54 PM
Country: France
Page URL: http://teoalida.webs.com/webscomreview.htm

(11:38:54 PM) *** Visitor 90853422 has joined the chat ***
(11:38:56 PM) teoalida: Hello from website admin! If you need any help or just wanna chat, drop here a message!
(11:39:12 PM) Visitor 90853422: are you a woman ?
(11:39:27 PM) *** Teoalida has joined the chat ***
(11:39:32 PM) Teoalida: a man… what importance have?
(11:39:43 PM) Visitor 90853422: I need a woman
(11:40:11 PM) Teoalida: then why are you on my website about webdesign? go on facebook or adultfriendfinder
(11:40:25 PM) Visitor 90853422: I’m hungry
(11:41:32 PM) Visitor 90853422: If you are not a woman you can not do anything for my prick
(11:41:52 PM) Teoalida: and if I was woman… what I could do ONLINE?
(11:42:20 PM) *** Visitor 90853422 has left ***

Been “recommend by a friend” to ask about… homosexuality?

Chat started on Friday, May 06, 2016 4:42:13 PM
Country: United States
Page URL: http://www.teoalida.com/

(4:42:13 PM) *** Visitor 44278805 has joined the chat ***
(4:42:13 PM) Visitor 44278805: hey i need some help with my project on LGBT culture
(4:42:40 PM) Visitor 44278805: plz help
(4:42:40 PM) *** Teoalida has joined the chat ***
(4:42:42 PM) Teoalida: hmm?
(4:42:56 PM) Visitor 44278805: i am in desperate need of some pointers
(4:43:33 PM) Visitor 44278805: this is a massive project and would like some “special assistance”
(4:43:42 PM) Visitor 44278805: can u provide?
(4:44:03 PM) Teoalida: regarding cars?
(4:44:18 PM) Visitor 44278805: no regarding the state of the homosexual male
(4:44:41 PM) Teoalida: oh lol I though that you’re same person that was 30 min ago
(4:45:00 PM) Teoalida: then how my architecture & database website is related with homosexuality?
(4:45:40 PM) Visitor 44278805: i think i am lost, can u redirect me to a helpful source?
(4:46:03 PM) Teoalida: how did you found my website?
(4:46:23 PM) Visitor 44278805: friend recommended it
(4:46:31 PM) Teoalida: Don’t know where to redirect you because don’t know what are you looking for…. maybe Wikipedia will help?
(4:46:49 PM) Visitor 44278805: cringe! this is a serious project i need something better than wikipedia
(4:46:53 PM) Visitor 44278805: >_<
(4:46:53 PM) Teoalida: which friend would recommend an architecture website for that?
(4:47:32 PM) Visitor 44278805: You have been PRANKED! plz like and subscribe my channel :DDDDD
(4:47:41 PM) Visitor 44278805 has rated the chat Good
(4:47:58 PM) Visitor 44278805 commented: “phenomenal sevice, but questioned my sexuality”
(4:48:00 PM) Teoalida: You’re sooo funny
(4:48:10 PM) Visitor 44278805: wow after i left a good comment
(4:48:16 PM) Teoalida: This chat worth posting in http://www.teoalida.com/offtopic/weird-questions/
(4:48:20 PM) Teoalida: and what channel?
(4:49:21 PM) Visitor 44278805: thats confindential
(4:49:49 PM) Visitor 44278805: have a nice day
(4:50:21 PM) Teoalida: what is confidential?
(4:50:23 PM) *** Visitor 44278805 has left ***

Funny comments left in sidebar chatbox

NameTs: Did i say you got a shit website? what d you spect if no one reply you dumb ass? (2 Nov 2011)
Teoalida: Which visitor are you and which part/thing of website is so shitty? Your english is shit too! (2 Nov 2011)
Koco: Ignore this NameTs. this guy is talikng rubbish. I find this website interesting. (19 Dec 2011)
Teoalida: Yes, website interesting, BUT I found later some broken links, probably this made him angry, if he would tell me exactly where is the problem, instead of swearing, I could fix immediately (20 Dec 2011)

Funny offline messages got in email

From: miss cleo <miss_cleo@ymail.com>
URL: http://www.teoalida.com/category/fun/
hello darling this is cleo miss cleo what city u calling from your a libra arentcha osteoperosis runs in family remember the pill positive thing things happn 4 a reason

From: miss cleo <psychic_gurl@ymail.com>
URL: http://www.teoalida.com/singapore/hdb-floor-plans/#comments
i love you!!!!

Who is this “Miss Cleo” who sent me 2 crazy messages? What do you want from me? I tried to reply but you didn’t left a VALID email! I posted them here, maybe you will see them and reply!

Someone from Japan visit my website about Singapore and ask about India

Chat started on Wednesday, October 19, 2016 9:33:14 AM
Country: Japan
Page URL: http://www.teoalida.com/singapore/hdbprices/

(9:33:14 AM) *** Visitor 57813300 has joined the chat ***
(9:33:16 AM) teoalida: Hello from website admin! If you need any help or just wanna chat, drop here a message!
(9:33:36 AM) Visitor 57813300: hi
(9:33:47 AM) *** Teoalida has joined the chat ***
(9:33:49 AM) Teoalida: what’s up
(9:33:57 AM) Visitor 57813300: ntg
(9:34:10 AM) Visitor 57813300: i need some info
(9:34:15 AM) Visitor 57813300: advice as well
(9:34:44 AM) Teoalida: ask me
(9:36:22 AM) Visitor 57813300: i want to buy a 2 BHK flat in 5 floor apartment, and i has choice of only 5th floor east facing flat of 1200 sft because remaining floor flats are sold out
(9:36:49 AM) Visitor 57813300: and cost is 35 lakhs
(9:36:53 AM) Visitor 57813300: in Hyderabad
(9:37:35 AM) Visitor 57813300: so,,,,its a good choice of buying or not? and the location of flat is very near to all
(9:38:10 AM) Teoalida: I see you being from Japan, visiting my website about Singapore, but ask a question about India… how crazy is this?
(9:38:26 AM) Visitor 57813300: hahaha
(9:38:29 AM) Visitor 57813300: ok,,,bye
(9:38:41 AM) Teoalida: www.teoalida.com/world/india
(9:39:02 AM) Teoalida: I have a small article about India… but can’t advice about buying properties
(9:43:49 AM) Teoalida: may I know what keywords you searched on google to find my website?
(10:00:16 AM) Visitor 57813300: i hate this site
(10:00:34 AM) Visitor 57813300: bye
(10:00:46 AM) Teoalida: Everyone in Singapore loves it
(10:01:09 AM) Visitor 57813300: hum
(10:01:24 AM) Teoalida: I have 800 daily visitors of which 500 from Singapore
(10:07:27 AM) *** Visitor 57813300 has left ***

You want my services or you promote your services?

Chat started on Friday, February 17, 2017 1:55:20 PM
Country: Pakistan
Page URL: http://www.teoalida.com/page/2/

(1:55:20 PM) *** Visitor 15018238 has joined the chat ***
(1:55:21 PM) Visitor 15018238: i dont plan of shopping mall ground and first floor plan
(1:55:41 PM) *** Teoalida has joined the chat ***
(1:55:48 PM) Teoalida: don’t?
(1:56:00 PM) Visitor 15018238: want
(1:56:55 PM) Teoalida: I have imagination to design residential buildings… or do you have a JPG plan and need me to convert to AutoCAD?
(1:58:19 PM) Visitor 15018238: convert to autocad
(1:58:46 PM) Teoalida: hmm… let’s see your drawing that need to be converted
(1:59:28 PM) Visitor 15018238: send me image of plan i can make it on autocad
(1:59:31 PM) Teoalida: http://www.teoalida.com/design/papertocad/
(1:59:53 PM) Teoalida: you want my service or you offer service for me?
(2:00:22 PM) *** Visitor 15018238 has left ***

Totally off-topic question

Chat started on Thursday, March 16, 2017 3:40:36 PM
Country: India
Page URL: http://www.teoalida.com/category/world/

(3:40:36 PM) *** Visitor 44352328 has joined the chat ***
(3:40:37 PM) Visitor 44352328: i want a job in singapore
(3:40:55 PM) *** Teoalida has joined the chat ***
(3:40:58 PM) Teoalida: so… how I can help?
(3:42:50 PM) Visitor 44352328: i want some company names and their mail id to pass my resume.
(3:42:59 PM) Visitor 44352328: can you help me.
(3:43:40 PM) Teoalida: What are your skills? in what fields do you want a job?
(3:45:13 PM) Visitor 44352328: i have completed BE Civil and MBA in HRM i want in civil field
(3:46:45 PM) Teoalida: It’s funny how many off-topic question I get from indians. Just because I run a website about Singapore real estate means that I know civil engineering companies in this country? (people from other country don’t ask such questions)
(3:47:20 PM) Teoalida: in case you want to know procedure to get a job… http://www.livinginsingapore.org/7-easy-steps-to-find-work-in-singapore/
(3:58:48 PM) *** Visitor 44352328 has left ***

I want to buy a house in North Korea

Chat started on Friday, March 17, 2017 3:54:19 PM
Country: United States
Page URL: http://www.teoalida.com/world/northkorea/

(3:54:19 PM) *** Visitor 29790715 has joined the chat ***
(3:54:20 PM) Visitor 29790715: I want to buy a house
(3:54:35 PM) *** Teoalida has joined the chat ***
(3:54:43 PM) Teoalida: Do you think that I am real estate agent?
(3:54:48 PM) Visitor 29790715: yes
(3:54:54 PM) Teoalida: I am not!
(3:55:00 PM) Visitor 29790715: yes you are
(3:55:25 PM) Teoalida: and I can see you being looking in North Korea page… don’t say that you want to buy in this country which have no legal home ownership
(3:55:47 PM) Visitor 29790715: oh sorry\
(3:56:27 PM) *** Visitor 29790715 has left ***

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